I don’t know if it is the onslaught of birthdays and holidays, so much preparation and too many details. I don’t know if it’s all the planning and parties, calendars filling up and lists becoming long. Maybe it’s all the conversations about school and church, our vocations and the years ahead. It’s all unique and universal. The thoughts and talks are both new and old.
I am not sure. But I feel the knotting and the twisting taking place in my belly. And sometimes, when I am all knotted up, I need a place to find the loose thread. I need to stop and work out the tangles.
I have been reading about Ruth in the Bible, how she got out of bed each day with the loss of her husband heavy in her pocket. She walked out into the field to work without a clue as to how her story would unfold. I have been learning about how she put one foot in front of the other, each step her daily bread, never knowing how her God would weave all the fabric scraps that life handed her into a tapestry of gold.
When I survey the landscape of what is on the horizon, the big picture, the whole story, I know that Love bats last. I know that the final chapter will wave a banner of grace and that the story will be magical, permeating truth and all together good. But it’s in the details, the plans and the lists of today that I get lost, overwhelmed and tired.
But then I remember Ruth. I remember how God redeemed her tragedy, how He wrote a love story out of her grief. And it all started because she simply got about her business with grace and humility. So what to do with all of these lists and plans? How to handle the decisions and the to-dos? Maybe it is more about stepping than seeing. And maybe there is a God who is watching over the fields where we have been placed, working through the smallest details and ordinary tasks. Maybe He is weaving redemption through it all. And yes, the daily walk can feel less like a love story and more like a long list. But in the end, it will all shine of glory.